Finding My Human Again at Work

Imagine this: you walk into a networking event, the host hands you a name tag and asks you to include your name and pronouns. They then hand you a card with a guiding question on it. You walk over to a group of people and another attendee asks you their question, “what keeps you up at night” and you ask them yours, “what drives you to get out of bed in the morning”. No job titles are shared, no “what do you do’s” discussed, no business cards exchanged.

For me, like everyone else, the COVID pandemic turned the way I engage with other people upside down. Especially in a work context, I found it incredibly hard. The endless Zoom marathons were exhausting and to be frank, mind-numbing. I dreaded that seventh call of the day and wanted to get off as quickly as possible so I could stop staring at my reflection, take off my blue light glasses, grab an ibuprofen, and maybe step outside for a minute. But the physical, emotional and mental toll of remote meeting mania (and the pandemic in general) really impacted how I worked, and because of that, I began taking shortcuts when engaging with others — I’d dive right into what I needed or what they needed to achieve the desired outcome. Getting to know the person across the screen was no longer a priority — the only thing that mattered was to get things done.

With the worst of the pandemic behind us (or at least let’s hope) I’ve been on a journey to understand how to bring my human back into my day job. To stop focusing only on getting my team to complete work, networking with only transactions in mind, and living life only for productivity. I’m tired. It’s not serving me. Honestly, it feels yucky.

My aim: how to move away from transactional relationships towards authentic, joyful, and intentional experiences. In September, I finally felt the strain of COVID lifting, and I started to experiment in a few different ways. Specifically, I began with three approaches for myself:

1. Reaching out to people I admire and want to learn from — whether they are a Gen Z activist, a seasoned mixed-media artist, or a fintech startup founder. In these calls or meetings, I position the conversation ahead of time and then re-emphasise during the meeting that the reason for meeting is solely to hear their story and learn about who they are. Right now, I am in the midst of a mini-audit of who I’d dream to chat with and about what. More times than not I find people are excited — even flattered — to be contacted and eager to share about themselves.
2. Meet people in cool spaces — with the goal of enabling us both to step outside of our comfort zones (in a good, safe way) and explore our own creativity and thinking. This includes outdoor spaces (like the The Towpath Café on the canal), a community gathering space (like the British Library), or at an arts and theatre space (like the Southbank Centre). I always find that the best discussions come when people are vibing off each other’s energy and passion, and feel aligned in terms of interests or lived experiences. But, in order to get there, walls need to come down and people need to feel inspired. Being in a new space for everyone (and better yet, walking or moving around in some way!) is often the push we need to open up.
3. Really be my whole self, no censorship — including when I talk too much, or use an idiom incorrectly (my lifelong struggle), or find myself feeling naive on a subject. Leaning into the messiness of not being perfect, and offering up a space for others to be open and vulnerable, has always been something I’ve been good at. Yet, with COVID, I personally felt it was much harder to let those walls down and show up in these ways. I’m starting to realise what a superpower it is to give people the space to be themselves, and now I’m doubling down on this to lead by example.

What do I hope to get from all this? Honestly, I’m not sure. Maybe to feel excited again about meeting different types of people? Or to open up in new ways in the place I spend most of my day? I want to stop doing things only for the end result, and instead do the thing for the sake of relationship and community building. To connect, to feel inspired, to belong.

I’m on a mission to do this more in my organisation, and I’ve been encouraging my colleagues, friends, and business partners to do the same. Is this something that resonates with you? What is your appetite for pushing your team or organisation to start interacting in this way? I invite others to take the plunge — joy is an emotion we deserve to feel at work.